Okay, okay I’ll admit it. I’m a little behind on this challenge. What does Jeff Goldblum say in Jurassic Park, “Life gets in the way”? No no, wait. It’s “Life finds a way.” Never mind, I’ll catch up on the weekend.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) was written by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, Iron Man 3) and stars Geena Davis and Samuel L. Jackson. It was directed by (unbeknownst to me) one of my favorite action film directors, Renny Harlin. The reason I say unbeknownst is because I didnt know that he directed this film, Die Hard 2, and Deep Blue Sea, all awesome action flicks. I watched The Long Kiss Goodnight on (get this) pan & scan DVD. That I had to buy. At HMV. For five dollars. C’mon New Line Cinema, there’s this thing called Netflix…

Anyway, I’m not going to waste time writing a summary of the plot here. Tony Fontana of IMDB has done a great job of it:

Samantha Caine, suburban homemaker, is the ideal mom to her 8 year old daughter Caitlin. She lives in Honesdale, PA, has a job teaching school and makes the best Rice Krispie treats in town. But when she receives a bump on her head, she begins to remember small parts of her previous life as a lethal, top-secret agent. Her old chums in the Chapter are now out to kill her so she enlists the help of a cheap detective named Mitch. As Samantha remembers more and more of her previous life, she becomes deadlier and more resourceful. Both Mitch and Charly proceed to do the killing thing, the bleeding thing and the shooting thing.

The film takes place in the few days leading up to Christmas – right about now, actually – and it does feel more Christmas-y than the last few movies I’ve watched. But it’s also a kick-ass 90s action movie, with kick-ass witty dialogue, and mediocre mid-budget action sequences (that green screen technology sure does date a film, hoo boy). I absolutely loved it.

One hidden gem in this movie is Brian Cox, who plays a former mentor to Davis’ Samantha/Charly character. Cox (who is always good) has some of the best lines in the film and really brings the scenes he’s in to life.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx-Ui_Ontqg]
Sam Jackson is in top form as the wise-cracking Mitch Hennesey, and Davis is pretty good as well, although I prefer her innocent but sarcastic Samantha Caine to the supposedly cold-as-ice killer assassin Charley Baltimore.

The one thing in this movie that isn’t great is the villain, Timothy (yes, that’s really his name!) played by Craig Bierko. You may remember him from such films as The Thirteenth Floor and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but he hasn’t done much since the 90s. He sure plays up the cheese in this movie, almost comically so. But I get the feeling that he’s trying to straight up play a menacing, eccentric bad guy here. He does a poor job of it.

Still, it’s a fun movie to watch and I’m glad I added it to this list. The idea was to replace the now cliche Die Hard with another action movie, and The Long Kiss Goodnight fills that slot nicely.

Next up, Brazil, which I know is not going to fill me with Christmas Cheer either, but I love it and I’m watching it all the same.